It seems logical to think of our children as, well, ours. We conceived them, we gave birth to them, we’ve nurtured and raised them. They’re ours, she or he is mine.
This is true for those of us who have been given this privilege, but it is not the only way we ‘have children’. We might adopt or foster children, we might conceive through IVF with our own or another’s embryo, we might marry into a family and raise stepchildren as if they are our own. This possessive mindset is a good thing when it leads us to taking responsibility for the raising and nurturing of our kids, but it is not entirely true and helpful, even for those whose children are biologically ‘ours’.
God the father has made each child with full knowledge and intimacy (Ps 139) and loves each one deeply. Job recognised ‘The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life.‘ (Job 33:4). All of us have been made through and for God the Son (Col 1:16). Even if we conceived, carried and delivered a child biologically this was all made possible by and for Jesus — the firstborn over all creation. This means ‘our children’ are actually ‘His children’.
We have been given children by God, precious possessions of His, to look after for a time. We will all need to give account to Him for how we nurtured them while they were in our care. Our parent-child relationship is earth-bound, it will not continue on into eternity (Mark 12:18:27). Rather we will be brothers and sisters in Christ so let’s train, teach, guide, discipline, point them to the cross of Jesus for His sake while we have them in our care.
When we realise and remember our children are His, it changes our role and purpose as parents. We no longer:
take our identity from being a parent,
use our kids to make us look good,
strive for them to have a ‘happy life’ with every possible experience,
let them do whatever they want, when they want,
think WE know what is best for them,
Rather we:
PRAY for their hearts to be turned from idols and towards the living God in repentance,
TEACH them about Jesus the author and perfecter of life,
INSTRUCT them in the ways of the Lord,
TRAIN them to live in obedience to Him,
MODEL an obedient, repentant, servant heart to Him who has saved us.
I remember the day God showed me that my kids are not mine, but His. It has made a profound impact on the way I now raise them, for His sake, not my own. My prayer is for this to change the way you view your children too.
Photo by Andre Guerra on Unsplash
